


anchor

by ralf



Series: Close to Canon [16]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode: s02e03 Parabatai Lost, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Parabatai Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:35:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26545327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ralf/pseuds/ralf
Summary: Before he goes in he imagines the parabatai bond as a tunnel leading straight from him to Jace. All he has to do is follow it, guided by the confines of the walls with only one way to go. Easy.But when he touches the whispering stone and closes his eyes he immediately realizes it's nothing like tracking Jace through his parabatai rune at all. That was a few minutes of intense but endurable pain and a clear sense of where Jace was. This is something else entirely.[Set during 2x03. In 2x04 Alec says to Magnus: “Jace may have been the one who pulled me out but I did feel you there and it did make a difference. So... thank you.”]
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Close to Canon [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/936036
Comments: 6
Kudos: 80





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**Author's Note:**

> This got approximately 3 shades more dramatic than I had thought but I know my place and it's under the muse's thumb so... enjoy?! XD

Before he goes in he imagines the parabatai bond as a tunnel leading straight from him to Jace. All he has to do is follow it, guided by the confines of the walls with only one way to go. Easy.

But when he touches the whispering stone and closes his eyes he immediately realizes it's nothing like tracking Jace through his parabatai rune at all. That was a few minutes of intense but endurable pain and a clear sense of where Jace was. This is something else entirely.

The room around him seems to have fallen away. Gone are the sensations of the bed underneath him, the presence of Izzy close to him. Instead there's pressure resting on his senses, on _him_ , that feels and tastes like darkness. There is no pain, just numbness. He feels like he's floating, untethered, lost in the space around him. It's nothing like a tunnel with walls as points of orientation. There's a vastness around him that seems to tug at him with nimble fingers, tempting him everywhere and nowhere, gentle but bottomless.

 _Jace_ , he wants to call but that would require a voice, a mouth, lungs. He has neither. He feels out for his limbs but there is nothing. He's reduced to his awareness, no body, no breath, no heartbeat. Just black emptiness.

For a brief moment he panics.

Then he remembers why he's here and that he'll return to himself as soon as he's found Jace.

He visualizes himself and imagines pushing forward, to wherever Jace is. He's not sure if it works. Nothing around him changes because there is nothing around him and he feels no closer to knowing where the hell Jace is. He thinks that if he was physical he'd be holding his breath in concentration, his pulse would be picking up.

There's no resonance here.

He keeps going.

Time loses all meaning. He keeps pushing though against what or where to he doesn't know. It seems more and more futile but it's all he has.

He tries to visualize Jace, his possible whereabouts but the darkness around him is impenetrable.

He's so concerned and so angry and he focuses on that to fuel his push.

He tries to visualize blond hair and blue-brown eyes but the image slips from his mind before it can form.

He keeps going.

He's concerned and angry but he's not sure why.

The blackness around him is like the absence of a sense of sight. He tries to imagine colors but the idea gets swallowed by the void.

He keeps going.

He pushes but he's not sure where to.

He realizes he's not pushing anymore. He starts anew.

He realizes he's not pushing anymore. He starts anew.

He realizes he's not pushing anymore. It's important that he pushes. He starts anew.

He realizes he's not pushing anymore. It's important that he pushes though he's a little hazy about the reason. But it's important, he's sure of it. He starts anew.

He realizes he's not pushing anymore. He thinks it might have been important that he pushes.

He realizes he's adrift amidst nothing.

Where is he? What is this? Why is he here?

He's scared.

He tries to turn but there's just more nothing. He's stuck.

He tries to shout for help but he has no voice. He has nothing.

Is he dead?

He panics. Won't anybody come find him??

He's probably dead.

What did he do to end up here? What happened? Why?

He tries to remember where he was before but he can't. He can't even remember who he is. He's not sure he ever was someone. The only thing he knows is that he's lost and stuck and alone.

He tries to move, to shift, anything to escape this encompassing nothingness but all his efforts are in vain. There is no change around him.

No matter how frantically he tries, there is no change around him.

There's a shift. A crack. The emptyness around him fills with something, vibrating.

It's jarring.

It's a sound.

He doesn't know what it means, it's all just noise but it's something to focus on beside the endless fear inside him.

He lets it wash over him. It can't guide him anywhere since it has no origin, it just floods his senses with its presence, but it's a reprieve from the void.

It's a voice.

He concentrates, pours all of himself into understanding it.

_Al-x--r_

He startles. He's not sure what this is but it feels familiar.

_Alex--dr_

So close, it's almost within reach.

_Alexander_

That's a name. A name.

It might be his name?

_Alexander. Please come back to me._

Back? To who? Where to? He doesn't know. There's no direction, no way to go. He doesn't know how he got here or how to return. He knows nothing.

_Alexander, if you can hear me, please hold on._

He wants to answer but he is incapable of producing sound. He is incapable of anything except listening to the voice. He can't place the voice, doesn't remember it but then he couldn't recall what sound was until it impressed on him. He might have known who the voice belonged to, once. It feels safe somehow and he leans into it when it speaks again.

_We'll get Jace and everything will be alright. Just hold on._

Jace. There's another surge of familiarity but it's vague and shapeless. That doesn't matter though. All that matters is that he's not alone anymore. There's someone out there who's searching for him, who will help him. It's enough to calm the worst of his fear.

He will make it out of here. He doesn't know how but he'll figure something out. He's not lost yet.

 _Everything will be alright_ , the voice repeats and Alec believes it.


End file.
